Thursday, January 08, 2009

Thief of Hearts

This was written to be included in the upcoming novel A Perfect Beauty. The sections and chapters will be separated by poetics, vampiric in theme.... Please let me know what you think of the idea, and how this works for you, the reader. I'll grab a comment at the end of the day on Friday, (16th January), and you can choose a book as your thank you gift for stopping by and offering your thoughts and opinions. Much appreciated, believe me!

Now, to the Thief of Hearts....

Night falls slowly, a gradually enveloping darkness that slips over us, and hides our secrets in safe, unseen places. No one is immune to the night, some embrace it like a lover, others fill it with false sunshine, afraid of the things that might hide in the concealment of the shadows. Others seek answers in the moonlit shelter, sensing purer truths than those visible under the searing sun.

The silvery radiance of a pale moon is less harsh somehow than the inferno of the day star that gives our world life. In the softer, subtle coolness all things show a new facet of beauty. The cautious spirit of a fearful heart is lured into a sweet flirtation by a handsome Prince of the night. He knows the game well, has played for an eternity – he never loses. A kiss… a playful smile… sweet words that steal her trust… These are the weapons of his charm, natural as air, the essence of all he is, but so much remains carefully hidden in the shadows, kept out of sight. He tells her to trust him, and she does. She loves him, what choice does she have?

Night becomes a time to love, and know life as she has never known it before. His eyes, the blue morning sky against the black velvet of the darkness, smile at her, stars glittering in their ageless depths. She belongs to him – they both know it. He has stolen every secret that was once locked deep inside her. She has been claimed and conquered, won with the soft rush of his breath as he places a kiss on her flushed forehead, the sensuous purr of his voice as he whispers love to her yearning heart. She is captured, trapped within his being.

All of these secrets hide in the shadows, an exotic bait for a trap as old as time itself. It’s not until she wakes alone, to the flame of the sun, that a greater truth is revealed. She has no mysteries left for him to claim – and she loves a stranger whose trust was never hers…

This is the paradox that defines a true thief of hearts, and the master she will always adore…


  1. Denyse,
    You know I'm not a Vamp lover, but this is good. I may have to rethink my tastes.

  2. Denyse,
    Wow, very nice. I love it. It's hard to describe my thoughts, other than to say how well it "flows". I think it gives the reader more of an in-depth look into your characters.

  3. HI DENY!



  4. Hey

    I think anything that is different would be welcome now. I have been trying to coax someone to write because her form is different. Very different. But not only that I like her story and think she has a given talent for telling a good story. It’s just her form is different, but I got to thinking about that. Different could be good. We will see where it goes.

    I think bridging the scenes is a good idea. I think it is good to give readers a little shimmy now and again to get their attention from the plethora of routine readings that are out there. Something different could be really good.


  5. I admire that the bridge ties the scenes together rather like a ribbon on a present. It holds the present together, if you will. Once the end is pulled and the ribbon unravels, the next chapter begins; i.e., you open the gift. I view it sort of as a Russian doll set where you open one and there is another and another, etc. Just my opinion, of course. It sounds really good and reads smoothly. Good luck.


  6. Very graphic in the sense that I can see, feel and sense so many things from the written words. It's a pleasurable onslaught of emotions.


  7. I like the way it is written, but it's not my cup of tea. It's very descriptive, but I also appreciate more action and dialogue as literary devices. Readers who like to move slowly from one to the next will appreciate it, but I respond better to being jarred from one scene to the next to refocus my attention.
    Just my two cents

  8. loved it cant wait to read more

  9. This is very good. Very evocative. I really enjoyed it.

    J.K. Coi
    Immortals to Die For

  10. I find it a very wonderful way to bridge. I love the flow and use of words. I can't wait to read the entire story.

  11. Denyse, I read it and thought it sounded GOOD.Good Luck with it. c.b.

  12. This is beautiful. And very unique. I love the way you're developing this.

  13. Thanks so much everyone! This is an extremely special book to me, so I cannot tell you how much your thoughts and comments mean to me.

    Hugs to all...

  14. I just read this and I enjoyed it very much. I think this is a good idea to bridge scenes. It gives a lot of atmosphere to the story and give the reader a breather from any action. This is well written, very descriptive and if there isn't too much, it's GREAT!!!


  15. I enjoyed more as I continued to read. It is a great opening to your scene that you've set up.

  16. You have definetly grabbed my attention. If I was to read this while I was buying books I would purchase it in a heartbeat. Its very dramatic and sucks you in. It makes me want to get to know the characters. It is an excellent teaser. Very well done

  17. I have to tell you Denyse that you pulled me into the story. When you said sensous purr I heard his voice in my ear. Fantastic! Love it! Phylis

  18. Denyse, I had to make an addition to my previous comment. *grin* I went and reread your wip and the old world feeling I sense within in that will I think fit really well with this. Phylis

  19. Lovely - I enjoyed it very much but not when it ended ... I WANT MORE *LOL*

    Looking forward to getting the final product - Best of luck.

    Rita from South Africa

  20. This is a fantastic idea!
    Sometimes a change of pace within a story is exactly what is required to make the reader become all the more absorbed....
    I could read this several times over and come up with a slightly different emotional reponse each time! Well done!

    Lisa xx

  21. I enjoyed the excerpt you posted. In small doses, I think this will work nicely. I'd be careful not to cross the line of purple prose. Other than that, I think you've painted a beautiful picture with your words.
    Best of luck to you.

  22. Wow! I like it. Deep with emotions,dramatic and grabs my attention. I can't wait to hear more.

    Heidi F

  23. I enjoyed this very much. There is a dream-like but sensuous quality and it draws one into the story. The words paint a vivid imagery for the reader. I think as a 'bridge' this type of narrative works beautifully - but I think it needs to be kept short (the present length is about right I would say) and the chapters and sections being linked need to have plenty of action or conflict to complement the poetic sequences. I think this is a very clever and skilful way to write and gives you a unique voice. Good luck - I loved it.

  24. Interesting in theory, but it doesn't seem to work well for me in actuality. Very descriptive, flows, etc. but too much of a good thing, IMO. Two paragraphs plus the last sentence would be about my limit. If I had flipped open a book to a page this was on, I might or might not flip elsewhere to see if it was "more of the same" or if there was more concrete action.

  25. I liked it for the snippet it was but I'm not sure about it for the bridging aspect. I like it when things move along and stopping to read something before getting on with the story kinda puts me off.

  26. I really liked this. I thought it flowed beautifully and it made me yearn for more.
    Ashley A

  27. This sample section is extremely well done but I can't honestly say it would work for me throughout an entire book. I think it would stop a page turner in its tracks. Having said that though, and reading how special this WIP is to you, how could you not go for it? It appears to me, at least from the majority of post here, that this style combination would have an appreciative audience.

  28. I do like poetry and I really like "bridges". I really liked this sample! However, the length might be too much for each bridge if they are all this long. Maybe breaking them into shorter pieces would not interrupt the flow as some of the commenters mentioned.


Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.