Monday, June 08, 2009

Guest: Dr. Ronald J. Frederick

Join Dr. Ronald J. Frederick, author of the nonfiction self-help book, Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want (Jossey-Bass (Wiley)), as he virtually tours the blogosphere in June on his first virtual book tour with Pump Up Your Book Promotion!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ronald J. Frederick, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and life coach, with over 15 years of experience helping people get the life they really want.

A long-time proponent of the transforming power of emotion, he co-founded the Center for Courageous Living, which offers innovative therapy, coaching and consulting. Noted for his warmth, humor, and engaging presentation style, he lectures and facilitates workshops nationally.

Frederick is a senior faculty member of the Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) Institute, as well as the Clinical Supervisor of Park House, an outpatient program at Abbott Northwestern Hospital in Minneapolis.So many of us long to feel more alive, connected, and secure in our lives, particularly now, in these challenging and difficult times. Why is it so hard? Part of the problem, says Dr. Ronald J. Frederick, has to do with a fear of our feelings—a feelings‐phobia—and the consequences of expressing our feelings to others. It's this fear that keeps us stuck, detached from the wisdom inside us and distanced from the people around us.And yet positive emotional experiences can actually “rewire” our brain and free us up to experience ourselves and our lives more fully.

LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want by Ronald J. Frederick, shows how we can overcome our feelings phobia in order to enjoy more satisfying lives.

Drawing on cutting edge science, many years as a psychotherapist and his own personal experiences, Dr. Frederick advocates that we understand and express the broad range of our emotions so that our feelings actually become allies in our search for fulfillment. His proven four-step process for tapping into the hidden power of our emotions includes:*Recognizing the signs of fears in ourselves, and the defenses we unknowingly use to cut ourselves off from our potential power.*Understanding how to tame our fear and exercise control.*Learning how to experience our true emotions and make use of their many resources.*Developing effective, measured ways to express and share our feelings.A master story‐teller, Frederick interlaces therapeutic techniques with stories from people who have learned to recognize and deal constructively with the emotions that have kept them from living their best lives. The trick, Dr. Frederick shows, is in being able to navigate and diminish the fear that is so entangled with our feelings, so we can progress in a healthier, less encumbered direction, and get the life we really want.

LIVING LIKE YOU MEAN IT VIRTUAL BLOG TOUR '09 will officially begin on June 1 and ends on June 26. You can visit Dr. Ron Frederick's blog stops at during the month of June to find out more about this great book and talented author!

As a special promotion for all our authors, Pump Up Your Book Promotion is giving away a FREE virtual book tour to a published author or a $50 Amazon gift certificate to those not published who comments on our authors' blog stops. More prizes will be announced as they become available.

NOW: The importance of overcoming fear of one’s own emotions.

The ability to live like you mean it all hinges on being able to be emotionally present in our lives—really being there for the happy times and coming through the difficult times a much better person. It’s our feelings that make us feel alive and vital, energize us to meet and deal with life’s challenges, and point us in the best direction to get what we really want. Our feelings are what bridge the gap between ourselves and others, enliven our relationships, and help us feel close. Our personal identity—the core of who we are—is largely formed by what we feel and how we react. Our likes and dislikes, what makes us happy, what makes us sad, what excites us, what brings us pleasure, what annoys or frustrates us—all say so much about who we are. It’s in our feelings that we find our true authentic self.

Unfortunately, many of us are uncomfortable with our feelings. We have what I call a “feelings phobia.” We get close to our feelings, start to feel anxious, and avoid them. We do all these things to steer clear of our feelings—things we’re not even aware we’re doing. When we avoid or deny our feelings, when we suppress them, we are in a way denying who we are, squelching our creativity and individuality, and sacrificing our true potential and power. It’s impossible to go the distance, to really live like you mean it, unless we can be fully present with our feelings.

But, as I discuss in my new book Living Like You Mean It: Use the Wisdom and Power of Your Emotions to Get the Life You Really Want, change is possible. We can loosen the grip of fear on our experience and unleash our inner wisdom and power. It all begins with opening our eyes and waking up to what’s going on inside of us. We need to find a way to put the brakes on, slow down, and tune in to our internal experience. In short, we need to develop what I call emotional mindfulness.

Emotional mindfulness is about purposely paying attention to our physically felt emotional experience as it happens with the aim of helping us be more consciously aware of our feelings and, ultimately, more fully present with them. How do you do this? You start by slowing down, going inward and just noticing. At any time you want to, stop and ask yourself, What am I feeling? and then tune in to what’s happening inside you right in that moment. Not what you think should be happening, not what you wish were happening, but what is happening. Consciously direct your attention to your felt experience. Watch and observe.

Each time you repeat this behavior, each time you bring your focus back to your body sensations, you’re developing a new habit. You’re training your mind to be aware of and pay attention to your emotional experience. You’re opening up to a richer experience of yourself. You’re beginning to transform your life.

To find out more about Living Like You Mean It, please visit:


  1. Thanks for the great posting about my book!

  2. Sounds like a wonderful book that will help a lot of people! :)

    Wishing you much success!


  3. What a wonderful book. Emotions are who we are and this sounds like a truly helpful tool in getting them to guide us in the direction we want to go.

    Good luck.

  4. I was lucky enough to receive a copy of the book to review, which I will do and post the review soon. What I have read so far is wonderful, insightful, and inspiring.... so yes, this is a fabulous book and well worth tracking it down on your Amazon site or bookstore.

    Thank you, Ron, for the book and for being my guest here today!

    Blessings to you....

  5. Excellent post and a definite read! More people in the world could use this kind of thinking.

  6. Understanding your own emotional reaction to a situation can only be a good thing! Learning to actually DO that though takes a LOT of time and effort, and I'm sure this book can help with that learning process.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Lisa xx

  7. I read more about this book on the website. Sounds like something a lot of people could use as a learning tool to help them move forward.

  8. Reading this couldn't have come at a better time for me. This book is mine come payday.
    Thank you Denyse and Dr, Frederick.


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