Friday, April 23, 2010

Vampyre Blood - Eight Pints of Trouble!

So, first let me introduce you briefly to this delightful novel that is wickedly funny, and VERY entertaining... This a vampyre novel that is contemporary, and poignantly on themark with its observations about human nature, as well as other things - like vampires and our perceptions of them!

The Book:

Vampyre Blood - Eight Pints of Trouble

When young New Orleans lawyer Bradley Harrington Chester the third lies dying in the street after being hit by a speeding car, it seems that his life is over. But as his spirit drifts away toward a distant light he is approached by an exotic fellow who claims to be both the Count Dracula of legend, and a violin player for The Techno Zombies, a Goth rock band on a world tour.

The Count explains that with the aid of a wizard he has abandoned his dark legacy, and now finds himself in need of a legal representative. So he offers Brad a deal, he can shuffle off into the light wherever it may lead, or he can become his lawyer, and be revived by a transfusion of Vampyre Blood.

The very last thing the young lawyer remembers before dying was his wife asking for a divorce, and prior to that he remembered being handed the prosecution of a mafia kingpin on his first day at the district attorney’s office. He wondered why the DA was so friendly to him, and so nasty to his star attorney Richard Bleddon, and he wondered why Bleddon had arranged a champagne supper at a fancy restaurant for him and his wife. After which, a speedy midget had snatched his wife’s purse and led him out into the street to die.

Becoming impatient the Count presses for an answer to his offer, and after being assured that he won’t become a Vampyre himself Brad accepts, hoping to go back and make sense of the madness that brought him to the brink of death. Populated by loveable rogues, scheming lawyers, and thieving gypsies, Vampyre Blood—Eight Pints Of Trouble, is an insane romp through the human desire to get what you want at any cost, and the strange places that desire can lead to.


VAMPYRE BLOOD is one of those novels that hooks you from the first word, because for a few minutes, you really don't know what the hell is going on and curiosity is a strong lure for any novel! The flashback to Transylvania that makes the opening sequence clear sets the tone, you meet Count Dracula, tortured, persecuted, and quite humanly attached to his faithful servant Igor. Igor, brave and loyal to the end, makes the Count promise to repent of his evil ways, and once he's assured that's what Dracula has in mind, too - he gives his master some direction.

Off goes the good Count, and falls into a sleep that lasts over a century. When he wakes, as confused as the reader, all soon becomes clear - and he's recruited to join the biggest Goth band in the world - The Techno Zombies. (His name is Drac now, and he's headed for America, as he'd promised Igor.)

Once the vampyre Count joins the band, things get quite amusing, but Parker's wit and humour are a perfect foil for what could be just another weird vampire tale. Through the count's eyes, we are forced to look at human nature with a slightly different skew. He lands in New Orleans before long, and we then meet Bradley Harrington Chester III. Bradley has troubles of his own, a pending divorce, a messy mafia case assigned to him, and the fact that he's dying after being run down by a speeding car.

Out of the shadows steps Drac - and he's looking for a lawyer he can trust. Given his somewhat limited options, Bradley agrees to the terms, and becomes Dracula's representative. So begins a strange relationship between vampyre and servant.

This book really is a non-stop observation of human weaknesses, strengths and the thirst for more, always more. It's populated with dark human characters, Goth musicians, villains that make you really want to see them brought down - and struggling in the midst of it all, a vampyre that is legendary for dark and evil trying to change what he is, and in the end makes a choice that some might find surprising. You also meet fascianting gypsies, a wizard who appears both seer and magician, he is the one responsible for the sleep into the 21st century.

While the book is riddled with humour, the real core of it for me, the thing that makes it a novel I will read again, is the sharp edge with which the author draws his characters. It is not a predicable novel, therefore a rarity in this genre. The statements it makes are sometimes blatant and unavoidable, other times you have to read a little deeper and find the less overt observations. Through it all, you are entertained and intrigued. At the end you want to start over and enjoy it all again, with a better understanding.

I highly recommend VAMPYRE BLOOD: EIGHT PINTS OF TROUBLE! It's edgy, compelling, and funny! You don't get that combination often, and rarely is it so well balanced with a core character who is an icon. So, congratulations to George Earl Parker on a novel well worth reading!! I can't wait to see what he creates next!

You can visit Mr. Parker on the web, at his site:

To sample a piece of this wickedly good novel, check here:

Read an Excerpt

Buy Vampyre Blood - Eight Pints of Trouble now!

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On Amazon
On Amazon's Kindle
At Barnes & Noble


  1. This sounds like a fun, contemporary re-telling of Dracula. Very cool.

  2. Wow! Love the aspect of this twist on the usual vampire novels. Very cool indeed.



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